Affection
Been thinking a lot about ways to show affection for the earth. Started a few days ago after it was clear that my affection for a certain person could/would not be returned. Based on the stalking i’ve done, no one i’ve had feelings for has ever felt the same way. Depressed me a bit. Felt alone (more than usual). So i decided to switch my affection from people (women in particular) to the earth. And i felt myself wanting to take advantage of people, squeeze them for my own gain. And that’s not right. Doesn’t jive with the Warrior’s Way. So while i have concluded that no woman will see me in a romantic way, doesn’t mean that i can’t care for them, seek a relationship with them not based on what i can get out of them, but rather how i can blend/compliment them. And that will have to be enough.
So i ended up committing myself fully to the Way of the Warrior a few days ago. i have purpose. Started recapping again. Learned some new Passes. And began to really think how else i can show affection for this world. How to let it know that i’m ready to experience it’s mysteries.
Not sure if there is a real question/discussion in my little stream of thoughts, but if this inspires any comments, go for it.
D5 Creation
I think you may be onto something. When I feel like my self importance is beginning to crumble, sometimes the only thing I have to hold onto is affection. Even then I almost have to force it at times, in order to keep from falling apart.
The hardest part is 3-6 months down the line when the newly found full commitment begins to disapear a mist the external distrations of ordinary day to day life. Intent to you.
It’s been weird when affection for a person fades after a while. It’s happened to me so many times. But not this time. Maybe because of some disturbing information/habits/tendencies of said person (in the 1st message). Found out what would have been disturbing information about her past behavior a few days ago. Would have bothered me 3, 4 years ago, but not now. We all have our pasts. We all have foibles, insecurities, tendencies, habits. And this time, i’m able to get past it. We don’t have to let it tell us who we are. There is only the present.
To love the Earth means to love it’s inhabitants.
MM, i’m assuming that your talking about a 3-6 month old relationship and it’s deterioration. That would be because the typical relationship is based on squeezing the bejeezus out of the other person. Twisted love. That’s what it is. And what do ya know, that’s the way we treat the Earth. Squeeze every last drop out of it.
Fuck’n humans.
Realizing that self-importance was the only way I knew how to interact with people, places, and things, depressed me in the extreem. It was evident even in the manner in which I responded to the realization. To act in any other was beyond me. Sure I’ve thought about other ways but I’ve never acted with out expecting SOMETHING, anything, So when I thought I was making progress in erasing self-importance all I was doing was building a more elaborate aberration. How can you transcend something you can barely define, and what does transcend mean anyway? 🙂 I’m beginning to see a cycle of transcendance, plateau, followed by a another trananscendane where one smashes the very paridigm that allowed one to further awareness. Everything is truly a description…I think.
No…I meant that anyone can decide they want to lose weight and start excercising, just as well as anyone can decide to completely commit themselves to their spiritual path.
But it takes true power to still be as rigurously commited to your task one year down the line. How many people have flushed 1 year GYM memberships down the toilet? 😆
Hopefully one year down the line you are still in full awareness of the revelation and the woman in your life then will get to experience this energy and not the energy of the ones in the past….
Mother Earth gives birth to all. Infinite love to her and all her creations. Even the killers and sinners are part of the circle of life.
Don’t you think that’s a kind of a broad conclusion? Or do you mean a particular kind of woman?
i meant exactly what i said. How can i have a relationship when all people do is squeeze the shit out of their partner? i’m the ONLY one (of the people i know and see) who feels like this. How can you be with someone who wants to squeeze you? Would you let people do that to you?
Now saying that, on occasion, there have been a miniscule amount of women i would seriously think of being with. Maybe i’m attracted to their energy body which might show the SLIGHTEST sign of being cleansed? i can’t say for sure.
Maybe it’s the pessimist in me coming to that conclusion. Or the realist. But i can say that it’s something i want. And not having it makes me a bit unhappy at times. How disturbing is that. Just another thing to stalk…
I feel the same way. I’ve gone thru life avoiding all relationships. It’s distorting. Now I’m able to express my desires yet I’m supposed to channel that energy into dreaming. Fuck. 😆
Fuck is right!!! i’m doing everything i can to save energy at the moment, but no dreaming. Just doesn’t want to take….yet.
I remember in one of the carlos books, him and Don Juan were talking about this relationship Carlos had between him and some blonde girl. I don’t remember exactly how it was worded, but Don Juan basically said that Carlos spent too much time with her. Carlos called her weak. I interpreted his reason for saying this as him not wanting to face the fact that he lowered her interest in him by using up her energy towards him; he was in a rush to get to the end, and that’s just what happened…it ended.
Just like in any work where there are lessons one can learn, we interpret what we will and take what we can. Touching on the fundamentals here, I could take lessons for myself to apply to relationships. I know now it’s not best to rush the time I spend with someone that I’m in a relationship with…it’ll be over before it even really gets a chance to start.