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Flyers
When I first read about the flyers from The Active Side of Infinity I was a little disappointed. I have always been fond of an idea that we all human beings are supposed to be responsible about everything that comes from our ego. That is the ideal situation to me that we wouldn’t blame any imagined creature like a devil or satan about our misbehavings. I’m quite against religions, and I have felt at peace with nagualism thinking that there is no such things as “demons” or “angels”, only beings and forces we don’t understand and like to think they are evil or good.
Now that there could be a creature, a flyer, who comes into us as a foreign installation and I have understood that it mainly IS the ego in us all, that makes me feel that once again there is a thing we can blaim and so we can imagine we aren’t resbonsible about a thing we do or say. Luckily, if one truly believes in a flyer, there’s atleast always the task of getting rid of the foreign installation…
It also makes me wonder that trough all the CC’s books there’s no mention about these things and suddenly they are mentioned in the last book.
:unsure:
What do you relate?
There’s always people who think they are naguals, I myself had once a pen pall who had an idea that he had the same allies as don Juan. The same or looking same, I’m not sure.
But anyway, what do you think? Do you think you are a nagual, and what are your reasons for that? Or do you relate some other character, and why? Or do you think that being a solo means that you have no character to relate?
Years ago I had an idea (good or bad, I don’t know) that I’m a western dreamer. One of the reasons is quite funny: CC always adored all the women he met, but the only women that weren’t oh sooooooo beautifull were the western women. I haven’t ever considered myself being a gorgeous being, so whatta hell… Let’s be a western woman!
The mood of the west feels familiar (melancholy), and I’m not as sain as normal people like to think they are. I’ve seen some visions when I was younger, and having dreams and Dreams has always been close to my heart (would be even if I hadn’t read CC).
But in the end I mostly think myself as a wanna-be, because the things and people of CC’s books are so far from my reach. And if that all is just fiction… Well, the main thing when living a myth for real is that it’s an interesting one!
Found myself a nagual man
In a normal dream I was in university and got disappointed about a professor. After him I met another one, and first there was several people lying on the floor going to have a sleep in a class room. Then it was morning and there was this professor only. I made kind of danced around making moves with a stick (from broom?) and then I tried to conversate with the man who was about to wake up. He started to be just as annoying as the first one, and I left him too.
Suddenly there was this young man (I was a young woman) who came with me to the cafeteria of the university. He was cute in the style I like in a man: boyish looking. Had dark hair and unshaven jaw. I said to him that I’m drawn to him and he has energy that holds me. I thought in my head that it would be kind of exciting to have a relationship where there would be no sexual “fullfilment” ever (because it ruines always everything!) All the time he acted innocent and like he would know nothing about any sexual flavor in our meeting, and so I said “have you been living in a monastery?” and left. I wasn’t mad or disappointed, although I was curious would he come after me. He didn’t.
There was some other things that happened in that dream but I try to make this all a short story… Anyway I woke up and felt necessary to write that dream down. I felt that that young man was kind of “my own Carlos Castaneda” and I was his “Florinda Donner-Grau” – although we weren’t actually them. We were our own interpretations about people like them.
After that I went to sleep and had quite annoying dream about an older woman who talked about sex to me and started to act much too fresh with me. I left her and went outside and saw naked women rolling over a street into a watery ditch next to the road.
And then I was aware. I guess it has been almost a year since the last time!
I looked down to my legs and saw that they were fat and I was having a skirt and high heel shoes. I tried to intent my legs thinner, no use. I was in the university again and I decided to look for my nagual man. I decided to call him Jean-Michel. I walked along the passages, there were many people there but I tried not to get into details. I touched the wall and I guess that was a major mistake, because soon after that I saw nothing, everything went black in my eyes. I tried to concentrate to feeling sensations with the walls, so that I wouldn’t loose my awareness.
Somehow I managed to get my vision back and I went outside. There was autumn and there were big leafy trees. And an odd big monster standing on the ground. It didn’t move and I’m not sure anymore how did it look like, but I think it was mostly a mixture of several animals.
I found “Jean-Michel”, although he looked different than in my normal dream earlier. I felt puzzled wether he was really him, and he looked me puzzled and obwiusly thought wether I’m me or not. He told me to kneel before him, and that was because he wanted to examine me somehow. He looked at me or my energy field or something like that, and I felt a bit sorry in my mind that I’m not really young (which is what I looked like in dream and in Dream). Not saying anything he stopped and went to a building nearby. I followed, and saw that in the building there were solders from the ages about 200 years ago. Jean-Michel was talking with one of them. Everything was in black and white, and I started to think am I really aware.
The Dream ended.
***
The funny thing is that lots of years ago I saw a (normal) dream where I got together with Jean-Luc Picard and his crew from Enterprise. Somehow Picard was also Don Juan, and after a dinner party he accepted me into his aprentice, although he felt puzzled about me somehow. I guess it was because I was a bit mad.
Of course I don’t believe that I’m actually Don Juan’s aprentice! And I don’t think there is any nagual for me, old or new. But it’s interesting how both of these dream-naguals are “Jeans”. I have nothing to do with French or France. (And come to think of it, in one dream where I was in a space ship having a kind of psychical test and saw “living toys”… After the test I went a bit mad and sang Alouette which is a French song.)
Lately I’m been feeling too much frustration and isolation to concider myself being satisfied to be a solo wanna-be witch. Maby this “my own nagual man Dream” is about that.
😆
Hi!
Nice to see a new forum about these matters! Some years ago I used to write a bit to nagual.net but now that was then and those times have gone. Reacently I started to have new interest about good old CC and wanted to write and read about “nagualism” again.
I think I was about 17 or something like that when I read my 1st CC-book. It was The Eagle’s Gift. And a gift it felt to me. After that I wanted to read every other book from CC I could get my hands on… I’ve also read the books of the women, and even Martin Goodman’s book. There are other people too who have had books, but those aren’t familiar to me.
I could be discrabed as a “New Agean”, but I don’t like that term so much. I’ve read this and that, theosophy, reincarnation etc. I believe in reincarnation, but that don’t make any harm to me when I always start again with CC’s books time after time.
I’ve seen some (about 20?) lucid dreams, and they started when I read The Art of Dreaming 5 years ago. At the moment I’m reading CC again, because I strongly feel that I can’t go on being this kind of an idiot I am! I need to have all the inspiration I can possible get to change as a person. I can’t say if I ever could get to be a human being who can be aware after death, but… who knows.
😉
D5 Creation