[Merged]

I have been using a technique for the last few months for stalking the self. I started out by pausing every few hours to make a note on the state of my mind, then I increased the frequency. With some effort I was able to dispense with the notes and check in on myself mentally every 15 to 20 minutes....a habit formed. Whenever my awareness changes a check automatically happens. I try to objectively observe what I am thinking and feeling. This has led to much tighter control over my emotional processes. The frequency of emotional upset and drama in my life has dropped considerably presenting a saving of energy that would otherwise be spent on such wasteful acts. This has also given me greater control over my perception and allowed me to assume responsibility for myself down to the level of my thoughts.

[eyeseewell]

Huehuecoyotl,

I enjoy self stalking. I put all of my time and energy in altering my state of mind for years. I had been physically ill for most of my life and after I broke through within my own mind, I was not sick anymore. I would like to hear more about your self stalking. How are you breathing, etc. Can you see with your eyes closed?

I

[Merged]

My stalking is geared towards observing my actions and thoughts in a non-judgemental way. My goal is to gain control over my thoughts and emotions in order to manipulate my perceptions as needed. I have made great progress in curbing my self importance this way. When my state of mind changes I become aware of the change from the observational habits that I have developed. Once one becomes aware of ones mental states one is allowed to apply decisions to how these emotions and thoughts are utilised. I feel that Castaneda's concepts of controlled folly and taking responsibility are rooted in this type of control. One conserves personal power while learning to manipulate their perceptions. I am also working on rooting out cultural programming in order to alter and stop internal dialog.

[Lilac]

Stalking has always been an annoying issue to me, because I don't like lies and I have an obsession about being honest. I feel almost kind of pain if I have to lie, or I can't tell some things to people around me.

I think I'm just plainly being stupid person. One doesn't have to shout all the ideas in his/hers head to everybody. And when you think that everything a person "really" is is just because of the place of the assemblage point, then what is really true about a person? If I say that I'm a shy person, and that can be changed quite easely, am I saying the truth or am I telling a lie?

I used to write to a forum where there were some people who were interested in playing with people. I guess I got so sick and tired about that infinite sosiopathic playing, which I was part of myself (couple of times I did little nasty things to people myself too) that stalking seemed to be more and more discusting thing.

Now that some years have gone by I'm trying to see a new point of view into stalking. I have realized that I don't want to live my life as an idiot that I am and have been. I don't want to be clever or a psychopate or anything like that, I just want to be impeccable!

Indulging in being somebody and never trying to be anything different but that same person day after day is death to me.

[ensonar]

I used to hate lies and liars. then I discovered the usefulness and purpose behind stalking/controlled folly. The switchover in me was very quick and easy for the most part.

The thing that I used to hate about "liars" was that they lied either to try and inflate their ego or to hide negative things about themselves.

However, stalking is more like loosening the rules that society has placed upon us and that we have placed upon ourselves. My parents gave me a name when I was born. Does that make it "my" name? Legal documents say that I am such-and-such age. Does that truly mean that I am that age? I know for a fact that I am at times younger and older than people the same legal age as me. And this line of reasoning goes on and on to many other aspects of our lives. It is the expectations of others and the expectations we place upon knowing certain "facts" that is causing the problem.

One issue that has come to the front with me recently is the "hiding" aspect of all this. It seems like Carlos put a great effort throughout his life of remaining hidden for the most part. I too have followed that mode for quite some time. However, one quote that has always stuck with me from one of the female warrior's books (either Florinda or Taisha). It goes something like this...

"Don't lie to be believed. Lie for the sheer pleasure of it."

I feel that this part of stalking has really come to the surface for me recently. I've tried to hide my past, my age, and many other things for a long time. At certain points I felt that I would be devastated if those "facts" were ever discovered by the current people in my life.

But recently some of my past has come back around to me. And in dealing with that, I made the realization, that it doesn't matter at all. I will still tell people whatever I want to tell them if I am asked. But if it is discovered that I'm "lying"...

Who cares!

I'm going to die anyway. None of it matters in the end. I'd rather spend my time enjoying the world

[Lilac]

It just so happened I'm just reading The Eagle's Gift (the one book from I started almost as a teen), and Florinda (senior) said that because women don't count anyway it's the same wether they are secretative about their lives or not. I guess world has changed a bit, and I like to think that in my country women do count. Here women are so manlike in spirit that I think it's usefull to really consider paying attention everything that nagualism says to men.

I've been babbling about me myself in life and in Net and all my openness has always got me into some kind of trouble time after time. I think it's typical for women to talk a lot (about people and themselves) to please other people. All that information is material for those people who like to show that you're an idiot and nobody likes you... What if I would tell "stories", never a single fact, but always just stories... Would I get angry if somebody tries to show that that person is an idiot, who doesn't even exist? Quite a funny idea!

:lol:

What does really exist? Who does? I've been feeling ageless all my life, and even my gender doesn't really matter to me. No ethnic group, no certain religion, nothing.

In these matters one's relatives are one's worst enemies. Always telling how you look like aunt this or that, and expect that you should be just like them. The funny thing is that not a single one from my family really loves him/herself, and then they all want me to be the same kind of a person they are themselves. Strange...

People are strange.

[ensonar]

What if I would tell "stories", never a single fact, but always just stories... Would I get angry if somebody tries to show that that person is an idiot, who doesn't even exist? Quite a funny idea!

:lol:

YES!

I've done this on many occasions, and it has given me buckets full of laughter every time!

[Merged]

Stalking is not about lying. Stalking is merely observation. When a hunter stalks an animal he observes it's habits and behaviors in order to lay an ambush for it. Stalking is about breaking behavior patterns, and fluidly adopting others as needed. It leads to a fluid state of behavior. It is an important means of changing the position of the assemblage point and fixing it in place.

[Merged]

i think stalking is good for emotional stability. i have driven myslef crazy with being sensitive to energy or body sensations. it sucks . i feel wierd sensations on my body and then i get obsessed with thinking somebody is fucking with me. i dont know... its gets really self important sometimes. being too aware is more of a problem when you fixate on something thats going on.i recently relearning detachment
i have a love -hate relationship with stalking. its almost like the biblical creation story. adam and eve ate that apple instead of choosing ignorance. knowledge comes with a price.

[Merged]

It just so happened I'm just reading The Eagle's Gift (the one book from I started almost as a teen), and Florinda (senior) said that because women don't count anyway it's the same wether they are secretative about their lives or not. I guess world has changed a bit, and I like to think that in my country women do count. Here women are so manlike in spirit that I think it's usefull to really consider paying attention everything that nagualism says to men.

You interpreted this incorrectly. She says women are not held accountable in the same way men are. In our society, it is not abnormal for a woman to change her name, to not go to college, to be 'nothing more' than a housewife, etc. Women are not expected to succeed in the same way men are. In many regards, we are invisible in our society. This is an advantage in nagualism.