04-10-2007, 08:12 AM
Sounds familiar. I feel like I've been through similar experiences.
For me it was a sudden shift one day into intense clarity, or at least "intense" from the viewpoint of my life up to that point. And then fear started creeping in. Fear of fear, fear of slipping back into normal awareness. And slip I did. But then moments of clarity would come round again, and again and again.
In fact this kind of reminds me of the story of the human mold that is in "The Fire From Within". It only reminds me of it because it seems to be similar feelings.
Don Juan told Carlos that when seers first see the human mold (as well as mystics who chance upon it at times), they often believe that they are seeing god. Carlos described how he was in absolute awe the first time he witnessed the human mold. But as don Juan had him see it many times over, it was still beautiful, but lost it's awesomeness, and in time he was able to witness it without indulging.
That feeling reminds me of reaching moments of clarity, heightened awareness, moments of high energy, and such. At first many of us get so caught up in the intensity of it that we indulge in feelings of awe until we drain ourselves back to normal awareness.
But as we keep returning to it, it becomes nothing, or it becomes more our constant state of being. And so as we breathe, as we open our eyes, so we are wide awake and aware, and it's like the morning and the night. It's nothing and yet it's astonishing at once.
For me it was a sudden shift one day into intense clarity, or at least "intense" from the viewpoint of my life up to that point. And then fear started creeping in. Fear of fear, fear of slipping back into normal awareness. And slip I did. But then moments of clarity would come round again, and again and again.
In fact this kind of reminds me of the story of the human mold that is in "The Fire From Within". It only reminds me of it because it seems to be similar feelings.
Don Juan told Carlos that when seers first see the human mold (as well as mystics who chance upon it at times), they often believe that they are seeing god. Carlos described how he was in absolute awe the first time he witnessed the human mold. But as don Juan had him see it many times over, it was still beautiful, but lost it's awesomeness, and in time he was able to witness it without indulging.
That feeling reminds me of reaching moments of clarity, heightened awareness, moments of high energy, and such. At first many of us get so caught up in the intensity of it that we indulge in feelings of awe until we drain ourselves back to normal awareness.
But as we keep returning to it, it becomes nothing, or it becomes more our constant state of being. And so as we breathe, as we open our eyes, so we are wide awake and aware, and it's like the morning and the night. It's nothing and yet it's astonishing at once.