[ensonar]

Recapitulation has never made me feel heavy and important. I would assume that it might be causing this feeling in you either because you aren't breathing in (calling back) the energy that you left behind, and breathing out (releasing) the energy that others have left in you... or because the feeling of "confidence" that you have cultivated in yourself before the recapitulation may be flawed in some way. It may in fact just be another level of self importance that the recapitulation is helping you to dissolve. But these are just my assumptions, I could be way off.

When I do the recapitulation, I tend to see it as a very fulfilling experience. I see and feel the light, colors, sounds and smells of the room or area that I'm recapitulating, and I breath in the energy of things that I didn't really pay attention to when I previously lived the experience. And it is like the energy of sun filling my entire body. Then I breathe out the feelings that I recieved from whoever I was with at the time. I try not to judge the situation, I just breathe out every part of them. Each of these interactions have in some way created the person that I've become, and I am grateful that I was able to share moments with these people and then I let them go. Regardless if I let them go in the recapitulation or at the moment of death, I will without question, have to let them go.

I intend it to be a positive experience. I intend it to be fullfilling. And it is. But it takes practice.