[ryan]

All those questions and all I ended up doing is throwing a heavy blanket on me and a pillow to cover my eyes. I really want to recapitulate with the maddening clarity that CC talkes about. Although I've had some good insights and have been able to recreate the feelings in the scene I can't seem to remember what actually was said or the whole event from start to finish. I think one of the reasons for this is because I never really listened to anybody when they talked, and I didn't pay attention to my surroundings because I was too busy wraped up in my emotions. So I decided to just skip around to all the events in my life that seem important hoping for some quick gaines. My question is: can anybody relate to this, and/or how have you been able to overcome it. Should I take a different approach?

[BratscheWarrior]

i'm in the same boat. i haven't given 100% of my attention to conversation (and here i think i'm a good listener) so i have hole in my recollection of events. i have my list. But i haven't added on to it in over a year. Right now, it is a detterent because i get to the person i'm to recapitulate and i can't think of anything to recapitulate. So i skip around my life, taking back "important" moments. Sometimes i get inspired to recap a certain event. The other day, some old ladies sat in front of me and one smelled like tuna fish. Reminded me of a time when a cat came into my backyard with no collar, so i assumed it was a stray. So i fed him a can of tuna. Got back home and recapped that moment. How strange....Then other times, an event that i have recapped will pop into my head, as if i didn't get all the feelings back...

Such a monumental task recapitulating is...and yet, we are so inadequate...

[ensonar]

I usually just remember feelings if I don't remember the details of conversations. That and details of the surroundings. As time goes by and with practice, recollections become clearer, more precise; as does the intent to recall and expell energy.

I don't think the recapitulation needs to be a huge worrisome monster. I think it is important to do it as often as we can and to the best of our ability or better. But instead of thinking of it as some huge task that we couldn't possibly finish, maybe it's better to think of it as a joyous task that we may never finish. But maybe that's just me. I like doing things for the fun of it.

I don't think we're inadequate at all. We're human beings and we're going to die. Everything we do is meaningless. Feelings of inadequacy just seem like another piece self importance.

[BratscheWarrior]

i like what you say ensonar. The recapitulation SHOULD be a joyous task. When i say 'inadequate', i think of all the things that are against us. Things that don't want us to succeed. And i'll admit, these forces still have a hold on me, hence the reason why i can't do a recapitulation at the moment. Or maybe i'm just making excuses...