[ensonar]

Well... it's been a while since I read it. Maybe The Power of Silence, but I'm can't say for sure.

[Merged]

Never heard of such a stereotype:

the arrogance of men and the lack of sense of humour of women

Some of stereotypes probably depend on where you live.

Anyways, imho some women think that they're less self-important than men due to the fact of covering it very well, including from themselves. Women almost always pretend, mostly unconsiously, to seem very soft and sweet :-) There's usually more room for self-humiliation than for self-importance, but it's two sides of the same coin, you're still caring for your image-for-others.
Historical reasons.. Who knows. I think that they're natural, not historical. Nature originally made it so that women were beautiful and physically weak and men were obsessed with sex and strong (so that they could capture as many women as they wanted), in order to produce more people :-) Women's insightfulness and unconsious pretending has something to do with it, too. They need to fool men in order to keep them around while they're pregnant. And men were made dense in that field, in order to never know that they're being manipulated for the sake of kids. And whatever men like to do, be it hunting or science, all of that they do for kids' comfort...
Such a universal stereotype that it seems offensive. But I think that nature 'planned' it to be so and never 'cared' for things like Spirit, only for reproduction.
-------------------------
Speaking of self-importance, it can be a useful tool sometimes, imho :-) I used to deny to myself things that it urged me to do, until there was almost nothing I wanted to do anymore. It made me very unhappy and uncaring. Now it turns out that you can give yourself an impulse to do something if you intentionally let a self-important thought in your head. It works so well, even when you know why you're doing it :-) To stick to the topic, that trick helps me to recapitulate when I don't want to.

[smellyfart]

As a general rule it makes sense that the more you recapitulate and self-stalk the more you are able to deal with people in general. One of our greatest challenges is to navigate thru the social order without becoming a part of it, my question is this; in the first 5 years of warriorship what do you think is the optimum attitude to get the most out of our dealings with people without becoming so gregarious you self sabatoge? How have you dealt with this seeming paradox?



I oscillate between being withdrawn from interactions, and judging people, and being this high energy, gregarious, motor mouth, who is pretty good at getting what he wants . Finding a balance between the two has proved most challanging. On the one hand I hate the feeling of judging and the way it constricts my perception ,and on the other I like the feeling of (percieved?)notoriety which works against my aims too. When I choose to do neither I end just feel sorry for myself. I don't know the answer to the above question I posed, I don't even have an opinion at this point. But am eager to develope one.

[ensonar]

I'm not sure how to answer that either. But I think as with most things, it's going to depend on each of us individually.

For example, I was always very shy, and so for me, being gregarious can be a not-doing if approached properly. For someone who is very outgoing and talkative, perhaps it would be good to spend some time being quiet and listening.

And I would imagine that as with everything else it will come down to balance, and becoming more and more aware of our self-imporance, so we are no longer uncertain of our own motives.

But most importantly, we must recapitulate! Without that we'll just be trying to reason things out, which is basically what we're doing here.