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The Recapitulation
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Mensaje: #41
The Recapitulation
I think part of the problem is that we read books and assume, because we've heard the words before, that we know what they mean. Will, in Castaneda's books, is not anything like willpower or determination. One acquires will when one can grasp items with the luminous tentacles from the abdomen. When we think of will, we think of effort, and using the tentacles is not an effort. It's more a recognition of what is. It's like how CC had to will himself "up" after ingesting the little smoke. His efforts were to no avail.

As I mentioned in the dreaming/sexual energy thread, when we try to change, we are merely pitting the self against the self. The self has decided that the self should change. The self makes the effort. This isn't going to happen.

Smellyfart has the gist of it, saying the difference between will and denying is self-importance. I'd go a step further, or shorter, and say it's self. But same thing, really.

We have to be careful not to make recapitulation another doing. This is why, IMO, cada dia struggles for a 1/2 hour to an hour before any good recapitulating happens. If the self has decided you should recapitulate, you're going to be in for a wrestling match. The recapitulation doesn't have to be interesting. That's feeding the self. You just have to remove the self from the equation. Maybe just recapitulate at a specific time each day so there's no choice about it, no 'I want to', or 'I don't want to'.

The recapitulation is an incredible tool, one of the best, IMO. But much can be "short-cutted" just by using your reason, and by that I don't mean thinking so much as seeing the way things are. Everything in our lives that has happened "to us" is an interpretation based on our beliefs and ideas of life and ourselves. It stands to reason that these ideas are not absolutes. That the life that we think happened to us isn't the only version of the story. And take it a bit further, there is no absolute us/me to whom this life could have happened to - there is no story of me. Just drop it.

I know, easier said than done. But I have to say it.

For me, the reasoning of these facts alone makes me pretty unstable, flexible, fluid. Doesn't it for you? Maybe it's not fair to think that I am only reasoning as I have had some direct encounters with the actuality of this so it's sort of after the fact reasoning.
12-Dec-2007 08:26 PM
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