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I think it was in the last CC that his isolation was discussed in some detail? He did it in some rank motel room.

In 1999 I rented the crummiest, remotest little cottage I could find, it was in September, early spring. Located on the coast, the bungalow didn't even have a sea view. I removed all the labels from the supplies and there was no tv, radio or books. I had a small pencil and a piece of cardboard, for the first 3 days I wrote down the names of all the people I had ever met. I had no clock, by the forth day, I was running out of stuff to do in a big way, time felt long and I was feeling more and more unsettled and uneasy. I had used the list of names to neutralize my connections, I did a lot of recapitulating. When I finished the list I ceremoniously burnt it. By the 5th day my mind was just non-stop 'voice' angry about being wronged by other people, this went on for 3 days, when the blaming other people was exhausted, the voice started to blame myself, I started to see my stupid, unconscious ways and how I had failed myself - this went on till about the 11th day. looking back on that part, it was horrible, difficult but completely do-able. Besides the angry thoughts, jealous thoughts and panic-attacks, the voice also gives you great reasons to stop the isolation, you have to struggle to dismiss the voice and you really don't want to be there, when you begin to get close to a real commitment to this life, it becomes daunting and downright frightening and the 'voice' knows what strings to pull!! By the 12th day I was through the scary part and I felt bouyant, I was at peace with my history and I had finished fighting myself - Durin the next 4 days I didn't think about how 'light' and content I was, it was only after, that I remember how in the moment I was. I was thoroughly enjoying my own company, my voice was hilarious. The days just sailed past, and I was at ease just doing nothing, I sat and my mind just travelled. On the 16th day, I was making lunch and my head said something to me, about leaving but the way and how it was said was really clever, not intelligent clever, but the words were like a trick, an embedded command, it was compelling. I can't remember the sentence, but in that moment I knew that the voice in my head was not me, the voice had for the first time said something apart from who i think I am - I stumble backwards with a look of surprise on my face, it wasn't scary or distressing as I had imagined it to be. I felt happy that I had a friend along with me, it really started to dawn upon me that were attached to creatures that are old and know a whole lot(besides being indulgent and lazy). I did 26 days in total, a week short of my agreed time. The last week I really got a good view of how we 'f*ck ourselves up socially, I realized that the 'voices' work together and that we have our friends worst interests at heart.
The sense of what alone is, can only be experienced, alone when you are surrounded with people is how I felt, like how a sober hobo might feel in big city.
Re-entering society after isolation is scary, mostly for the people around you - I learned that a time of 'debriefing' is needed or your likely to scare friends and colleagues away - They all seemed different to me and I started to separate from friendships, some separations were painfull, the debriefing would have helped a lot.



In 2002 I did another Isolation, in the desert, going for a more purist view of nothingness, it was both hugely entertaining and super frightening in different ways to the first one but it's not something I want to share with anyone, it is something personally powerful for me.

If anyone wants my thoughts and advice on Isolation, If you're serious about the breaking point, I can facilitate you, I have a 'voice-proof' isolation that takes 6 weeks(4 weeks Isolation and 2 weeks debriefing/holiday) in the Richtersveld desert in Northern Cape, SA. Far less expensive than any other 6week holiday and way more beautiful and rewarding.

Phil

[regicide]

I felt happy that I had a friend along with me, it really started to dawn upon me that were attached to  creatures that are old and know a whole lot(besides being indulgent and lazy). 

Hey Phil, it nice to hear from you. Got a question. In the quote above are you refering to an inorganic being, an ally?

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I'm referring to the 'decision-maker', 'the voice', the internal-dialog, the ego - whatever it's called, the reasoning voice that talks inside your head, that sounds just like you.

- I did experience an owl on the first isolation, in close proximity. At the time, we stood and watched each other, I don't know owls, I couldn't say what kind it was, it was the big kind. It stood on the grass in the garden, several feet from me, it didn't look bothered or anxious or nervous. We seemed to share a moment, not a special moment or something 'spiritual' -we did some time together. Months later I was visiting a local Sangoma (traditional-healer) and when I told him I had been visited by an owl and some baboons, he was quite interested in the owl and he looked at his friend and they both burst out laughing. They both said owl and had a good laugh again. I asked what it was about but I still don't know, they won't say.

P

[regicide]

Hmm. O.k, still don't get it. It still sounds to me like you were talking about something else <_< . But I ham stuiped . I went along time thinking the internal dialog was just self-talk. Then after a period of time I felt that there must be something more to it. Now I can say I don't have a clue because when I think I have finally defined something in seermanship, experience tells me otherwise and it confuseses me even more that I am normally confused. But I remember in the books that after you have saved enough "inner silence" a breaking point must be reached in order for you to stop the world. Is the breaking point the same think as breaking your continuity? I want to say yes, but how do you know when your ready, ready in terms of not just having the will do go ahead with it but that the timing is right. And is the method the same for everybody?

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You are quite correct in your reference to a 'breaking-point' in inner silence - the phrase was also used in the last book in ref. to Isolating oneself.
I'll explain through my own experience how this 'isolation' is the breaking-point in someones life. I really wanted the dedication to follow a wholesome/evolved life, I knew about recapitulation and magical-passes and stalking, I knew about the importance of virtue and integrity but....what gives a human the drive, the motivation, the dedication to live impeccably? I was having about 2hrs a week that was sort of impeccable - it drove me to despair that I couldn't pull it off and when you show a little discipline, life has a way of providing better distractions. For 5-6 years I knew I was fooling myself, you're either hot or your cold, lukewarm will not make the grade, then I read the last book when it came out and I realized that isolation made all the sense. It's like when your in a new place or on holiday, it's easy to stop or start a habit - Isolation gives you a perspective of you, that normally, you wouldn't notice - Like if you doubt something, or maybe you see something out the corner of your eye, you have friends or family that talk stuff away, saying it was nothing, or telling you not to worry. You must have heard the saying "you are your own worst enemy", well you must face that enemy and the battle is your own, no-one else must be involved.
Isolation gives you a couple of clear understandings that in turn gives you the motivation, the drive, the dedication to lead an impeccable life - By taking the time to really examine who you are, you get to realize who everyone else is. You also get to personally understand the 'inner-voice', this in turn makes you a more forgiving, understanding person. - before I go on, to answer your other question regarding the voice - At the turn of the 20th century in 190_something, a German doctor, Dr.Baum, did some experiments on a patient, while the patient was conscious, he wanted to answer some questions relating to memory, so the doctor opened the skull of this chap and touched his brain while asking him questions. A number of things were discovered durin this experiment, most sensational was the discovery of a 'hidden-other', such was his discovery, that dr. Baum hid his findings and died without letting anyone know, he had to, he would have lost his job and people would have called him mad, he would have had trouble finding any work at all. Anyway, the story goes that a Canadian neurophysicist , Wilder Penfield was going through dr Baum's papers and found the experiment, he did the experiment himself and found it to be true, we share this life with another, some other 'thing' lives through our lives, this 'other' stays hidden by having us think that the 'voice' is us, it sounds like us and when we ask ourselves a question, it was it's question and the answer is it's answer - so were quite fucked(scuse!) to put it plainly! The important thing is, science finally proved something hugely important, possibly one of the most important understandings of the human condition, yet it is still not 'mainstream' and understandably so, it is big! it threatens so much of the matrix.
I knew that the voice belonged to someone else, long before I did the isolation, but I needed the jolt of my own experience to truly believe it.

I'm tired and need to sleep.

Phil