12-01-2006, 12:54 PM
I really like this website. Posts have been scarce lately and I myself haven't had any new expirences to write about. With the exception of trying to losing self importance in my day to day activities and studying (right now its Ken Eaglefeather 
) I've been slacking in faithfully applying the techniques. I don't have any good excuses for this, my favorite is; I need to hurry and make enough money so I can set aside a chunk of time to REALLY immerse myself. I guess there isn't anything wrong with this but it's just a way for to rationalize my way out of sitting my butt down and recapitulating or gazing or what-have-you. I'm sure we all have our reasons for posting to this site, and over the months mine has evolved. At first it was all about impressing people or showing them that I was ....Yes! the ONE! Which if I'm in a certain state of mind is embarrasing looking back. After that I wanted everyone to know they weren't trying as hard as I was and that my varied expirences were more profound. Today somethimes I think my self importance is just more sophisticated and I'm better at hiding these things. Other times when I look back over my old post., I definetly see growth. Maybe it's both. My point is that I'm thankfull for the forum and for all of you, not because I know you, but because you give the best and worst of me a chance to express itself. You take the time to converse. I feel a closeness to you thru our common intent, and that alone is enough to compell me to overlook any differences.
) I've been slacking in faithfully applying the techniques. I don't have any good excuses for this, my favorite is; I need to hurry and make enough money so I can set aside a chunk of time to REALLY immerse myself. I guess there isn't anything wrong with this but it's just a way for to rationalize my way out of sitting my butt down and recapitulating or gazing or what-have-you. I'm sure we all have our reasons for posting to this site, and over the months mine has evolved. At first it was all about impressing people or showing them that I was ....Yes! the ONE! Which if I'm in a certain state of mind is embarrasing looking back. After that I wanted everyone to know they weren't trying as hard as I was and that my varied expirences were more profound. Today somethimes I think my self importance is just more sophisticated and I'm better at hiding these things. Other times when I look back over my old post., I definetly see growth. Maybe it's both. My point is that I'm thankfull for the forum and for all of you, not because I know you, but because you give the best and worst of me a chance to express itself. You take the time to converse. I feel a closeness to you thru our common intent, and that alone is enough to compell me to overlook any differences.