01-09-2008, 07:41 PM
Hi blu129,
The most important not-doing IMO is ridding oneself of the mind, and we can accomplish this by not-knowing. Knowledge is what structures the infinite into things, so to do anything new, extraordinary or magical, we have to free our minds from the knowledge of old, ordinary and mundane. To do this, start by not believing in anything your internal dialogue tells you, because it can only tell you the second-hand acquired knowledge it has received from everyone else as you were growing up, and these are just descriptions, nothing final. Then stop believing in everyone else's internal dialogues externalised, for the same reason. You can allow all these descriptions, and even appreciate them, appreciate each person, but don't believe in them. See them for what they are - stories, programs, skimmings - always biased by the storyteller's personal history/knowledge.
Inquire into all of your beliefs, goals, hopes and dreams... find out if they really belong to you or if they are someone else's ideas/stories. Even the dream of freedom... what do we really know about freedom for certain? How do we know it's worth having? What will it mean when we have it? Why don't we have it now?
Look at how life has changed from being a child to now. First we just needed food and love. Then we wanted attention. Then we wanted toys and then friends. Then we grew to want relationships and sex and a car and popularity. Then we wanted money and freedom (from our parents). Then maybe we find a spiritual path, become seekers... then we want knowledge, we want power, we want enlightenment, we want freedom...
But all of these, save the very first, is a description that came from somewhere else. We have to find out what we are without these descriptions. Or maybe you don't. Don't let me give you another description!
I have no idea how far the path goes. I feel I'm just beginning to do the real work, even though I've been studying many, many things for over twenty years. I've had some success over the years (otherwise I probably would not have continued) but not much consistency. I only recently saw that the inconsistency was due to trying to add this "extraordinary" to my old self/knowledge, which can't be done. You have to go blank-slate, void, all descriptions equal... otherwise your core beliefs will deny any description that goes against them.
So I've had some magical things happen in my past, and I expect more to occur, but right now I haven't been trying to do anything magical in the sense of altering my external reality because I've been so focussed on undoing myself, my mind, my beliefs, and that is the most magical thing to me right now. I have many moments where I don't know who I am, or where I am, or when. I no longer have expectations on others, and myself, which makes relationships much more interesting - though it's difficult in some ways, because most people want to relate to some "one", something consistent, something they can find security in, and I've lost much of that. I'm more content than ever; I don't visit extremes much at all, so everything is just fine with me... not much conflict. So all the energy that went into upholding all those things is becoming available and I have magical dreams and waking reality is more magical too, like zen beginner's mind. I'm never bored, I don't blame anyone for anything, I'm responsible for everything I perceive. And I'm beginning to experiment with intentionally describing myself into strategic identities (stalking), and that's going very well. Now and then I am visited by a heightened awareness of death. I know for certain that this is going to totally undo me and I won't be able to stop it. I sometimes feel like I'm going to break down right there and just fall to pieces. Once in a while, I do. And then it fades away for a while. I try not to make a polarity out of it and try to blend the two seemingly different ways of being into just one, just life, just this - not knowing any distinction between life and death. Death (the disintegration of oneself) is actually too much life. Life as we now experience it is a skimming. When we let more of life into our awareness, our human form cannot contain it and it is blasted apart. So the "afterlife" is actually more alive than this life.
I have to go to work. I'll get to the mystery next time.
Thanks blu129.
The most important not-doing IMO is ridding oneself of the mind, and we can accomplish this by not-knowing. Knowledge is what structures the infinite into things, so to do anything new, extraordinary or magical, we have to free our minds from the knowledge of old, ordinary and mundane. To do this, start by not believing in anything your internal dialogue tells you, because it can only tell you the second-hand acquired knowledge it has received from everyone else as you were growing up, and these are just descriptions, nothing final. Then stop believing in everyone else's internal dialogues externalised, for the same reason. You can allow all these descriptions, and even appreciate them, appreciate each person, but don't believe in them. See them for what they are - stories, programs, skimmings - always biased by the storyteller's personal history/knowledge.
Inquire into all of your beliefs, goals, hopes and dreams... find out if they really belong to you or if they are someone else's ideas/stories. Even the dream of freedom... what do we really know about freedom for certain? How do we know it's worth having? What will it mean when we have it? Why don't we have it now?
Look at how life has changed from being a child to now. First we just needed food and love. Then we wanted attention. Then we wanted toys and then friends. Then we grew to want relationships and sex and a car and popularity. Then we wanted money and freedom (from our parents). Then maybe we find a spiritual path, become seekers... then we want knowledge, we want power, we want enlightenment, we want freedom...
But all of these, save the very first, is a description that came from somewhere else. We have to find out what we are without these descriptions. Or maybe you don't. Don't let me give you another description!
I have no idea how far the path goes. I feel I'm just beginning to do the real work, even though I've been studying many, many things for over twenty years. I've had some success over the years (otherwise I probably would not have continued) but not much consistency. I only recently saw that the inconsistency was due to trying to add this "extraordinary" to my old self/knowledge, which can't be done. You have to go blank-slate, void, all descriptions equal... otherwise your core beliefs will deny any description that goes against them.
So I've had some magical things happen in my past, and I expect more to occur, but right now I haven't been trying to do anything magical in the sense of altering my external reality because I've been so focussed on undoing myself, my mind, my beliefs, and that is the most magical thing to me right now. I have many moments where I don't know who I am, or where I am, or when. I no longer have expectations on others, and myself, which makes relationships much more interesting - though it's difficult in some ways, because most people want to relate to some "one", something consistent, something they can find security in, and I've lost much of that. I'm more content than ever; I don't visit extremes much at all, so everything is just fine with me... not much conflict. So all the energy that went into upholding all those things is becoming available and I have magical dreams and waking reality is more magical too, like zen beginner's mind. I'm never bored, I don't blame anyone for anything, I'm responsible for everything I perceive. And I'm beginning to experiment with intentionally describing myself into strategic identities (stalking), and that's going very well. Now and then I am visited by a heightened awareness of death. I know for certain that this is going to totally undo me and I won't be able to stop it. I sometimes feel like I'm going to break down right there and just fall to pieces. Once in a while, I do. And then it fades away for a while. I try not to make a polarity out of it and try to blend the two seemingly different ways of being into just one, just life, just this - not knowing any distinction between life and death. Death (the disintegration of oneself) is actually too much life. Life as we now experience it is a skimming. When we let more of life into our awareness, our human form cannot contain it and it is blasted apart. So the "afterlife" is actually more alive than this life.
I have to go to work. I'll get to the mystery next time.
Thanks blu129.