01-03-2008, 10:56 AM
I feel for you Crow. I wish I could help you see that it's impossible to avoid things. That's not a working path. It should be apparent that it hasn't worked so far. Fear and arrogance are still concerns for you, so whatever you've been doing up to this point hasn't worked.
If you don't mind my advice, I'd stop trying to avoid them and just simply notice them when they arise... try to see what they are, what their source is and to whom they belong. Who or what is it that is feeling this fear, this arrogance? Is it not the tonal that is afraid to die, afraid to be exposed as a lie, and has developed arrogance as a shield, as an effort to continue its lie that it has things figured out and under control? Is not this tonal already dead? It has no future and no present... just a past that it must keep repeating in order to give itself the illusion of continuity.
I have led you with answers, but do not accept them. You have to see to whom this fear and arrogance belongs for yourself. To name it "tonal" doesn't change anything at all. Our knowledge of the tonal is not equal to seeing what the tonal actually is. When it is seen for what it actually is, it may not stop altogether, but it doesn't need to. It just needs to be removed as an extreme and put in its true place as another of the million items on the tonal - no more and no less than any other item. The emphasis that avoiding gives to these items makes them seem to be greater than they are, worthy of concern. Nothing in the tonal will survive. The tonal is concerned with itself as another effort to perpetuate this false continuity.
Who is it that peers out from behind your eyes? When your awareness looks behind your eyes, does it find the back of your head or infinity? The tonals items are happening, arising, in this awareness/infinity/nagual. This is the proper perspective for someone to choose their automaton, to stalk an identity, to emphasize and de-emphasize items at will. But all the items have to be made equal first. Avoiding and desiring make the prerequisite of equality impossible. Then you have to find out how to choose without desiring. B) That requires intent. Intent cannot go against what is, whereas all desiring (and avoiding) goes against what is.
Good luck Crow.
I hope the statistics favor you.
ps. What was said about fear and arrogance goes for hopes and desires too. Hope is the tonal's effort to project itself into a future... to maintain an appearance of continuity and reality.
If you don't mind my advice, I'd stop trying to avoid them and just simply notice them when they arise... try to see what they are, what their source is and to whom they belong. Who or what is it that is feeling this fear, this arrogance? Is it not the tonal that is afraid to die, afraid to be exposed as a lie, and has developed arrogance as a shield, as an effort to continue its lie that it has things figured out and under control? Is not this tonal already dead? It has no future and no present... just a past that it must keep repeating in order to give itself the illusion of continuity.
I have led you with answers, but do not accept them. You have to see to whom this fear and arrogance belongs for yourself. To name it "tonal" doesn't change anything at all. Our knowledge of the tonal is not equal to seeing what the tonal actually is. When it is seen for what it actually is, it may not stop altogether, but it doesn't need to. It just needs to be removed as an extreme and put in its true place as another of the million items on the tonal - no more and no less than any other item. The emphasis that avoiding gives to these items makes them seem to be greater than they are, worthy of concern. Nothing in the tonal will survive. The tonal is concerned with itself as another effort to perpetuate this false continuity.
Who is it that peers out from behind your eyes? When your awareness looks behind your eyes, does it find the back of your head or infinity? The tonals items are happening, arising, in this awareness/infinity/nagual. This is the proper perspective for someone to choose their automaton, to stalk an identity, to emphasize and de-emphasize items at will. But all the items have to be made equal first. Avoiding and desiring make the prerequisite of equality impossible. Then you have to find out how to choose without desiring. B) That requires intent. Intent cannot go against what is, whereas all desiring (and avoiding) goes against what is.
Good luck Crow.
I hope the statistics favor you.
ps. What was said about fear and arrogance goes for hopes and desires too. Hope is the tonal's effort to project itself into a future... to maintain an appearance of continuity and reality.