[Lilac]

Every time I have been close to doing stalking the first thing I have had to be ruthless to is always myself. How can I ever consider myself as being "honest" to other people if there is any self importance left in me? Self important people like to twist every word and situation into their own good. But the most of the lying they do to themselves.

"I'm this, I'm that, I only want good for everybody" (that is: I want good to everybody so they don't go after me and hurt me...)

And the constant whining inside the mind how somebody made this and said to ME that and oh I'm so hurt... What does other people's doings matter, really, if they're not actually killing me...?

Considering myself as a dreamer I'm a rotten stalker, but somehow I feel that if I don't start taking stalking seriously, I can forget about the dreaming also. I'm dry as a desert...

It's a lifetime struckle and I can't be boasting about anything. Good intentions are not enough to be stupidly proud about.