Can I learn to lose and win?
Now here’s the thing. Competition. Something in me craves it. One of me or maybe more than one of me thrives off it. It watches others intently looking for weaknesses to exploit. It craves winning. When it loses it hides and cowers. Limp it feels cheated. It plays the game of chances to the extreme. Risk it all just to be right. In the infinity of chaos what is winning or losing? Who knows the agreement best? This duel is ongoing, a battle of wills between the heart and the mind. The emotions are forced, led and duped by tricks of the mind. The heart is soft and yielding. When the mind wins the emotions follow behind marching in triumphant jubilation singing songs of victory. And in loss, the march drags its feet and there are long downcast stares, bitterness fills the air. And yet when the heart is brought to bear, allowed to participate, to play, the winning and losing is less important than the connection that simply comes through participation. The heart is the essence of feeling connected which is possibly why a path with heart can never make a wrong turn even when the mind insists that it has. The mind without the heart sponsors separation.
The cat needs to come back in…
D5 Creation
To learn to lose and win …
To unlearn the concepts of losing and winning …
To question our ability to accurately measure anything with the self as a reference.
How is this achieved, is it a case of simply continuing to self remember, to witnessing the actions and reactions of the self, or does it require something more?
Is this line of questioning a further example of the self’s continued attempt to accurately measure?
How does one completely remove the self as a reference point whilst questioning??? :unsure:
The cat sleeps.
Based on the premise that all knowledge is acquired and any specific knowledge is merely one description, once you’re convinced of this you learn to observe yourself doing it, to stalk yourself and then catch it in the moment and ask yourself if it’s absolutely true (which it never is). Or ask if using oneself as the reference point or measure has any objective value (is more than just another description chosen to benefit your own view).
You’ll find that your description is selected and preferred because it enforces your past identity and perpetuates it.
This conscious effort is not an effort to accurately measure (at least not for me). It’s an effort to not know, to deconstruct, to allow unknowing which is more mysterious than knowing.
The intent is not to remove the self while questioning, but to remove the certainty of self as measure. Then winning and losing become inapplicable.
All measure with self as reference point is based only on what you know and not an objective measure containing all knowledge, so your measurement is relative and not worth investing in as a warrior-seer. You never will know all knowledge, so there never will be an objective measure, so a warrior learns to give up measuring as a way of knowledge/knowing.
In another post I quoted CC saying “a sorcerer’s only reference point is infinity” and mentioned the immense implications of such a statement. There is no measuring infinity or within infinity… unless you agree to set up an imaginary fixed refernce point to measure from. But nothing in infinity is fixed, so this must be folly. As folly we can agree on who is the winner or loser of a game according to certain rules and measures, but if you maintain awareness that this is a game/folly, then you don’t believe in it or in yourself as winner or loser – you don’t invest it with personal meaning (self-importance/winner or self-pity/loser).
Alongside measuring, one must also stalk comparison, which measuring is a form of. All comparisons one can make are based on one’s personal past, known, acquired knowledge, and must be deconstructed also (remove belief/certainty in your description as final and make equal to all descriptions as folly).
Again, it is the ego-identity that find it necessary, in order to perpetuate itself (its lie of a self) through comparing this present with some past, this mystery (unknown) with some known.
The goal is to have an objective and make all to get it.
Think in victory or lost is a sure way to stretch your action range and resources.
“It watches others looking intently for weaknesses to exploit.” Being in competition with ones self is the assessment of the same weaknesses within ones self. That is how you find the double… or better yet, how the double finds you!
Mwhahahahhahahhahahh!! 😆
Sorry… that was creepy.
No that was fun – you have my attention – please go on…